Oh my god that cat is so excited for the surface of the water to be solid because it thinks it’ll be able to finally catch a fish oh my god oh my god look at it slip around ahhhhhhhhh


hi so I really need advice. I havent been on here for a while, I know. Probably because of Tumblrs rapid decline. People making blogs for their “headmates”, extreme radical feminists, a million new “genders”, ect. It all just seemed like people were living in a fairy tale and I wanted no part of that and put myself into the real world. But I’m back and I need some help, advice, opinions, ect.
Im just gonna make it public because I love all my followers and I dont expect this to really get notes or go public.
So a few weeks ago, I (believe) I was sexually assaulted. I dont know what to take of it because I’ve had several people laugh in my face and tell me it was my fault. (Warning; rape trigger)
Heres the story.. A good friend of mine, who i saw as a brother, invited me to go smoking and drinking with him and his friend. I was with my friend at the time and said sure. he drove to her house under the impression that we were going to be able to stay there but we werent able to. ,they suggested going back to one of their houses, multiple times but I got bad vibes and said fuck no, i want to stay in the area. we ended up driving around Chicago while drinking in the car. I’m assuming they slipped something in my drink because I didn’t have much alcohol until I blacked out. I guess under the influence i puked in his backseat and instead of taking me back to my friends house, whos mother would be fine with us coming back drunk, he took us back to his house which i told him explicitly multiple times not to do. but it happened did I woke up face down in his workout bench. I got up and walked around laughing because I thought I was at my other friends house, i was still trashed and ran around the house looking for her. the guy led me to his room where my friend was on the bed so i jumped in and cuddled her. he got in the bed and cuddled me but being wasted, i didnt think much of it. he was rubbing my leg and i fell asleep.
I woke up with his hand in my pants and was scared half to death. I tried moving away but he kept fingering me. I moved a whole 130 degrees and grabned my friends thigh for help, looking at her hoping shed see in my eyes i needed help. but she was tripping and just laughed at me. the guy started to take off my pants, and me being scared and drunk couldnt say no or kick and fight becaude i knew he had been drunk and tripping (to which ifound out he was actually sober when this happened) so i thought hed hurt me. instead i made excuses (ex; hey uh i didnt shave) but he looked me dead in the eye and said you really think i care? as he took off my shirt I crossed my arms around my chest and said this isnt right. he ignored me and kept going.
At this point I felt it was futile to even try anymore so I just had to close my eyes and force myself to act like i enjoyed it so he wouldnt hurt me. at one point inthe middle i begged for more alcohol clearly saying i wasnt okay with what was happening and i needed to blackout to be okay, cause i knew there was no fighting at this point. he gave me some but i didnt black out and i remember it all.. him, and he got his friend to join, ran a train on me and my friend.
I eventually crawled from the room after they finished whipping me and threw up.
Im just so upset because i dont know what to think because I feel like I was violated and taken advantage of and that it was rape. but i had people telling me it was my fault and not rape at all.. i dont know. it gets under my skin. my rapist doesnt know hes a rapist and im so fucking angry about that. I just want people to yell at him for what he did, make him open his eyes and feel like shit because he bragged about what he did to his friends..
idk i need someones opinion or advice. please message me.


Brand New - Seventy Times 7

—Your Favorite Weapon (2001)

Stand By Your Van featuring The Wonder Years [x


i always get attached to everyone and no one gets attached to me so i always just feel dumb